www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bDMDmyE8j8

Today’s terrible lawyer commercial comes from Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro. VICTIMS!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zToHQ8oQvgA

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lANJc_QIXU0

Since I moved to the Ozarks, I’ve searched for a television station that runs first-run episodes of the show. Unfortuantely, there is only one — KWBM. KWBM is a DayStar-owned affiliate, which apparently does not have a contract with the satellite providers, DirecTV & Dish Network.

It is apparently available on the local cable provider, MediaCom, but from what I’ve heard from my real estate agent, my coworkers, my wife’s co-workers, my friends, and the Internet, MediaCom is the worst cable provider in America, hands down… which is why everybody here in Springfield, and the surrounding Ozarks communities, has a satellite provider or U-Verse.

Some of you are probably saying, “Tony, you’re a technically savvy guy – why not just put up an antenna and watch it over the air”? Well, I would do that… ‘cept KWBM barely puts out a signal, and on top of that, they broadcast out of Harrison, Arkansas, a city approximately 80 miles away.

So yeah – no more Cheaters reviews until Joey Greco can hook me up with a new affiliate.

Scam of the Century!

At first I thought maybe my wife had some wacky cracked out relative in Vail that she accepted a collect call from, but surprisingly, she knows of no one in Vail, Colorado. I attempted to call the number, but it just rings and rings and rings…

I got on Google as fast as I could, and searched for “BillwithUs”. Turns out it is a very well known and documented “cramming” scam. Some little outfit in god knows where falsely bills people for collect calls that were never made and received, and hopes to god that most people don’t look at or question their telephone bills. Well, unfortuantely for them, I do. And I’m two shakes from being a fully licensed attorney (plus, I’m unemployed, so I have all of the free time in the world!), so I do what is expected of me – file a complaint with the Missouri Attorney General.

While the complaint is being processed, I call AT&T, which is a completely unpleasant experience. AT&T’s people tell me there’s nothing I can do about it, I can’t prevent 3rd parties from billing to my telephone account (i.e. the experience can repeat itself!), and I need to call this phony BillwithUs, even though a quick Google search brings up loads of cramming complaints and Attorney General complaints filed around the country.

So, I call BillwithUs. They insist I accepted the phone call from this phantom number in Vail, Colorado. I start raising hell, and without arguing with me, they credit me the amount — obviously, they know they’re in the wrong, otherwise they wouldn’t be so quick to credit the amount!

Months later, after Chris Kosher’s (Missouri’s AG) consumer complaints office completes their “investigation”, I get a letter from their office, which states they do not feel any fraud is taking place (even though the FTC has opened a case against them, and there are five complaints in the past 6 months in Missouri alone), and they attached a letter from BillwithUs’s “Jing Telmo”, which is almost comical:

On October 1, 2009 Anthony Brown called our customer care center and spoke with a Call Center Agent, Anthony Brown was explained [sic] that the charges on behalf of BWU represent a collect call to his residence, Anthony Brown proceeded to dispute the charges and although we feel the call was received and accepted, a credit was approved for reimbursement and submitted back to his phone company which he was informed will be applied in 1-2 billing statements.

Wow, I wish I could just get off of charges of fraud by saying “I didn’t do anything!” Wouldn’t that be super?

Anyhow, it looks like in an attempt to lower the Google results that bring up “BillwithUs fraud”, “BillwithUs cramming”, and “BillwithUs ripped off”, the lovely folks at BillwithUs have opened their own craptacular website. The website provides nothing substantive – it’s obvious that they’re just trying to keep folks from reading about their fraudulent activities.

So, has anybody out there been scammed by these people? Any other interesting stories to share?!

So, now I’m making it available to you. It’s in PDF format, and you can’t copy & paste anything from it, or edit it in anyway. I retain all rights to the paper - do not copy it and claim it as your own or doing anything else stupid.

Click here to download.

I think the biggest problem for me, personally, is that law casebooks aren’t available in Kindle format. I would kill not to be able to have to carry around hundreds of pounds of books at any one time – one thin electronic device to replace them all. But unfortuantely (no fault of Amazon’s), the publishers of such books have their own plans, and want to continue to waste paper and energy pumping out overpriced books, year after year, when the law doesn’t really change.

Additionally, as a law student, I do a lot of writing in the casebooks that I read. The Kindle has no sort of “notetaking” feature, as far as I know.

I love the idea of books on demand and free 3G access to download those books – that’s just plain awesome… but these two things are really deal breakers for me at the moment.

(yeah, I’m totally trying to sell you the Kindle, since Amazon Associates is offering 10% commission on them right now!)

Tommy Habeeb... err.. Grand.

Long ago, long before Joey Greco was stabbed, there was a different host to America’s Favorite Reality Show, Cheaters… his name was Tommy Habeeb, better known to Cheaters fans as “Tommy Grand”. In many ways, we should actually thank Tommy for his contribution to television, for he was also the producer of the pilot that got this wonderful show on the air… but god… he’s an awful host.

Sure, the show pretty much hosts itself – all you really need is a voiceover guy (and they do have an excellent one in Bob Magruder) and a detective to bring the client to the confrontation – you really don’t need the host – but the host compliments the show, and is supposed to help provide for some of the show’s most interesting moments, like getting arrested, getting stabbed, or the occasional “talk to me, Gomez.” Joey Greco does this well… Tommy Habeeb, not so much. Even Jack E. Jett did better than Habeeb when he was called in to pinch hit for Joey after the stabbing incident.

Habeeb hosted the show for its first hundred episodes. Shortly after, he was terminated; a lawsuit followed alleging racial discrimination (even though he doesn’t look like any ethnic or racial minority, and he pronounces “Habeeb” like a redneck would – HEY-beeb), and now he’s relegated to re-runs, pay-per-view specials, and uncensored DVDs.

Joey Greco - God.

Joey Greco is just far more superior than Tommy Habeeb. For example, if confronting a cheater and his now obviously pregnant mistress, Greco would say something like:

Would you like to explain this love child to your fiancée?

Tommy Habeeb, on the other hand, would say something like this:

Are you pregnant? Is this baby his? <awkward silence>

It does not end there. While Joey will gladly step in and help the injured party during the confrontation, if they’re attacked, for example, Tommy will just stand by and let his overly large security guard with the cowboy hat take care of it. Joey sticks up for his clients, Tommy doesn’t.

Luckily for us, the viewer, Tommy has moved on from Cheaters; now, he promotes cheating through his show “STAG: A Test of Love“, which in my humble opinion, is an awful piece of garbage. It is nowhere near the high quality that Cheaters PIs provide us with every night on Cheaters.

It’s a sentence familiar to all of us late night television viewers… one that starts off every great, spine tingling episode of Cheaters.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show or its premise, it’s simple – spouses/significant others contact the “Cheaters Detective Agency”, they follow the other partner around with cameras, catch ‘em “in the act”, and then there’s always a nasty confrontation at the end. It’s really a great show, and deserves a better timeslot than midnight (or 3am in my soon-to-be-residence of Springfield, Missouri). There’s nothing quite like it anywhere else.

Anyways, I was watching the “Steve French” case last night; appropriately, he shares his name with a porno producer who puts out “Cheating Wives” smut (hey, just Google it!). Mr. French, being the douche bag that he is, decided to cheat on his long time girlfriend with one of her friends who moved into her apartment during a nasty divorce!

Now, Mr. French, as portrayed by the show, is no doubt a violent man. During the surveillance period, he got into no less than three fights with other people, and got kicked out of no less than two bars. The confrontation was no exception to his violent behavior.

Instead of, you know, stabbing Joey Greco, which is entirely appropriate and acceptable, he proceeds to kick out the window of the mistress!

But, oh no, he’s not finished yet! He then attempts to pull the mistress out of the vehicle! Like she would want to go anywhere with him after this confrontation.

Finally, after his girlfriend tells him to “face her like a man,” Mr. French loses it and cold cocks the girlfriend!

Joey Greco, being the most excellent specimen of man that God has to offer, tackles Mr. French to the ground and puts him in a choke hold. A blurred-out rent-a-cop comes and slaps some cuffs on him.

Mr. French then does the unthinkable – he runs off, with the cuffs on, and gets away from Joey and the gang!

Mr. French, if you’re out there, I believe most of America thinks that you’re a douche bag, including myself.

While I’m looking around, a female employee comes up to me. She asks me if I need help with anything, and as always, I say, “No thanks, I’m just looking around.” I hate dealing with floor employees – most of them have no idea what they’re talking about, and they’re just trying to earn a commission. Luckily, this one went on her way.

I go back and meet Jennie in another section of the store, and another employee comes up to us; this time, it’s a guy. He asks the same annoying question, and I tell him the same thing, immediately turning and heading out of the section. I mention to Jennie that I saw a printer that I liked and made my way over to the section. Little did I know the employee was following us because he overheard us talking about printers.

Immediately, he asks “Do you need help with anything in this section?” I tell him the same thing – no we’re just looking. Instead of leaving us alone, he starts asking about our printing needs. I tell him I have a laser printer, and I’m just looking. He then asks if I print some ridiculous (75,000) number of pages a month, and I tell him no – I do not tell him anything about my printer, toner cartridge, etc.

He then proceeds to tell me that I’m getting ripped off by my printer, despite the fact that he knows nothing about it. He tells me that my printer is costing me over 6 cents a page to print, and that the ink jet I’m looking at costs about 3 cents a page to print… obviously, both amounts are (on average) more than what it actually costs me to print. I tell him we’re just looking and we’re getting ready to move, thinking he would get the hint that we’re not buying today, and to leave me the hell alone.

Instead of walking away, he suggests that we buy a $399.99 printer!!

Needless to say, I will no longer be making printer purchases in-store; instead, I’ll be going to the good ol’ rainforest of Amazon.com.